Love your lover


I am so excited about Valentine’s Day because that means that we’re all digging deep into our hearts and feeling into what makes us expand, express love, and feel love. This blog is all about that, as well as how to make your partner feel Oh! so taken care of. This Valentine’s Day, I invite you to create your own Tantric Ritual with your partner or just some time so spend together in the bedroom!

Step 1:  Creating Sacred Space

Put aside 5 minutes for a simple eye-gazing session or 2+ hours for a full-on love ceremony. Either way it’s important to have a container in which to invoke the sacred for your time together. Remove clutter, light candles and turn off your phone for some uninterrupted communion time.

Step 2:  Center, Ground and Set an Intention

Perhaps after letting your lover know you would like his/her undivided attention by looking into each others eyes and taking a few conscious breaths, go inside and feel how YOU’RE feeling! This is so important, because then you can set a true intention for your time together. Maybe you thought you would feel extra frisky on Valentine’s Day, but you’re feeling raw and sensitive, and maybe just want to be held.

You can do a simple meditation with your partner or by yourself, by closing your eyes, taking a few deep breaths and noticing your 5 senses. Feel into your heart, and it’s truest desire. Do you want to re-ignite your spark, acknowledge your man/woman for how amazing he/she is, or just explore slow and sensual touch? Drop into your intentions from a physical/emotional/spiritual standpoint. Different parts of you may want different things.

Step 3:  Setting the Intention

Express out loud your desires, intentions, and express your heart. Perhaps tell your lover how beautiful he/she is. Get in touch with why you love this person, and how this love would like to be expressed in the moment. Maybe your intention is to give your lover pleasure one night and he/she can focus on you the next night. Make it clear, yet leave room for spontaneity.

Step 4:  Dropping into Breath and Sound

With both partners sitting in YAB YUM, the woman sitting on top of the man while he’s sitting cross-legged, align your spines, and perhaps bow to each other. Start to synchronize your breath, and breath mouth-to-mouth for a few minutes, until your mind has calmed down. Let things organically flow from here, include some toning, soft caresses, and nuzzles on the face. You can also exchange breath by inhaling through the mouth while your partner exhales through the mouth into yours. Try this until you are both lost in each other!

Step 5:  Hot Oil Body Rub!

I highly recommend a 30 minute to 1 hour hot oil massage for your partner. Try organic coconut oil, and heat it up under warm water. It helps to both be nude so that you can get full body to body contact. Be creative, using your whole body to tickle and arouse your partner. Use your hair, feathers, legs, chest, and yes even your buttocks to massage your lover. Be sure to include the genitals, even if it’s just a sweeping touch from the legs to the belly. Be sure to coach your lover into deepening their breath, and fully relaxing and letting go into your touch. Remind them that it’s ok to just RECEIVE, and that they don’t need to do anything but surrender. Allow the heart to soften under your sweet touch, opening it with circles and light tapping. Be creative! And be sure check in with the level and intensity of your touch from time to time.

Step 6: Spontaneity!

When you feel like you have fully relaxed and aroused your partner, invite divine spontaneity into your space. Re-connect with your intentions and see if your needs are being met. Hopefully this is just the right amount of foreplay to spice up any love-making session!

Extra Credit

If you want to do your homework ahead of time, I recommend getting some books or videos on erotic massage for partners. Check out for a full series on erotic touch!

Author, Lauviah Rose

Your sacred sensualist,
Lauviah Rose

Jen MurphyComment