June morning
days of waking up and feeling melancholy
missing the past
or rather the missing of feelings I had in the past
of waking up next to a lover smiling at me
the sun kissing my face, eyes closed, swinging in the backyard, thinking of nothing
worrying about nothing
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melancholy turning to lethargy
wrench myself from the bed and sit down on the cushion
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do my morning Mahayana practice
vowing to make myself available for all sentient beings
get over myself (actually, saying the words does just that)
practice tonglen
today for myself
pent up tears released flow down my face
breathe in the tender sadness
exhale white light from my heart, radiating in all directions
it takes only a few minutes for the transformation to take place
I feel better
so much so that I forget my practice
oh yeah, breathe in that sadness of others
exhale white light from my heart and let it radiate out in all directions
send it out into the world
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get up and make tea
put on some music
move my hips with the beat
another form of transformation
smile